To a T
by Bethe
Summary: An idle Pretender is a dangerous thing, indeed...


To a T

By Bethe

~*~

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. None at all. Just using it for my own pleasure.

Author's Note: This is in response to Cas' own personal challenge to me to write this fic. Cas: I hope it fits your expectations "to a T" (I'm not _that_ good of a writer, ya know?).

~*~

"What?"

Jarod smiled at her cliched greeting. He walked over to a window and replied, "I hear things were. . .out of hand at the Centre today." He smiled again when he heard her dry chuckle.

"You know, Jarod, you've played some pretty big ones on Syd, Broots, and me. But that. . .that was one hell of a stunt you pulled," she remarked, a trace of reverence in her voice.

Jarod smiled once more as his mind replayed the events of that day.

~*~

__

If I can pull this off, he thought while quietly crawling through the air-vent leading to the Renewal Wing, _this might be my biggest prank to date._ He proceeded on his journey until he reached his destination. From the vent, he could see his intended target. And then, right on time, he could hear the final counterparts coming into place.

"Okay, you stammering little mole, why are we here?" Lyle demanded, straightening his blue silk necktie. He was getting impatient. Broots had pulled him from a very convincing lead on Jarod on the basis that he was needed elsewhere. And now, he'd been led to the Renewal Wing without so much as an explanation from the man in the very loud Hawaiian shirt.

Broots glanced around nervously before whispering, "I'm sorry, Mr. Lyle, but Mr. Raines is not himself these days." Without another word, he dashed off, disappearing into the dark hallway. 

Lyle groaned in frustration before turning around. Before he could take a full step, however, his body slammed into another, causing him to yelp in surprise. He recomposed himself, straightened his tie once more, and said, "Damn it, Parker. Watch where you're walking."

"At least I walk upright," she sneered icily, tugging at her skirt to straighten it as well. "And what the hell are you all the way over here for?"

"I could ask the same of you," her twin replied. 

Miss Parker sighed in frustration. "I received a note saying that I just _had_ to come down to Renewal Wing because of some 'changes' to Daddy Dearest during his latest surgery," she stated with disdain dripping freely from her voice.

"Broots brought me here," Lyle said simply. He looked around quickly and mused, "Wonder what the old rat is up to."

Jarod, still in the vent, stifled a chuckle. He waited for just the right moment. He saw the tip of one of Miss Parker's stiletto shoes, and pressed the button on the odd little silver remote in his hand.

Parker and Lyle entered the room together, and gasped collectively. On the bed lay Mr. Raines, complete with what could only be breasts underneath his flimsy hospital gown. Parker brought her hands to her mouth, but a snicker still escaped. To her surprise, Lyle let out a laugh as well.

"Not himself, indeed," he mused mirthfully. 

The noise that had suddenly filled the room was rousing the object of their ridicule. Raines slowly opened his eyes. Upon seeing Miss Parker and Mr. Lyle, he rasped, "What?"

"Oh, nothing," Parker replied on a laugh. 

"Why are you disturbing me? I've just undergone a very painful surgery," he said, warning lacing his tone.

"That's obvious," Lyle said. "What's going to be even more painful is seeing you when you're healed up."

"What are you talking about?" Raines growled, obviously becoming irate.

"Look down, Dr. Demento," Parker quipped before turning on her heel and striding crisply out of the room. Lyle, not really up to bearing the brunt of his father's wrath, followed suit. However, they could hear the strangled cry of surprise and dismay echoing all the way down the hall.

~*~

"Jarod?"

He snapped back to the present, a grin still on his face. "Yes, Miss Parker?"

"An inflatabra? Where on earth did you get an idea like that?"

Jarod ducked his head before replying, "A friend. If you ask me, Miss Parker, I think it fits him to a T." With that, he hung up the phone, hoping Parker would puzzle over that for hours. Then he turned to the aforementioned friend and gave her a big smile. "Thank you for letting me use that prop, Kristanna. It proved very helpful."

The blonde model/actress before him simply nodded and said, "It was no problem, Jarod. One question: what did you--"

"Don't ask, Kristanna," Jarod replied with a smirk and shaking his head. "You don't want to know."

~*~

Finis


End file.
